I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
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