do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
