When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
