since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
