You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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