How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Randomize
