i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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