i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
