I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
