Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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