Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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