Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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