hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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