And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
