i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
She bit a glass in half.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
