and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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