he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
