Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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