im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
