Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
