So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
