i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
