I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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