He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize