There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
we're so committed to being not committed
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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