You work out of a Hotel?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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