You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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