One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
