Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I just found a bag of teeth...
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize