Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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