hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
