i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
