So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
