My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
organizing the empties. That sober.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
