Got a toothbrush?
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
