She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize