p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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