Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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