If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
