i permit you to call me
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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