and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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