i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
