Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
