like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
