i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
