I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
