The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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