Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize