But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
