Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
