I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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