I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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