I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
