That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize