How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
