therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
