My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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