No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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