You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We left an ass print on the piano.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
