There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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