I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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