well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You had me at "let me see your balls"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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