So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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