i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
