I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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