I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
