How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
