End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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