I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
