i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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