i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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