i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
