Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize